BVS MANIA
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: With only a week to go before the main event, the DC heroines gather to discuss the movie itself, future fics and their author namely me. massive fourth wall breakage and TONS of OOC
**BVS/FANFICTION/FANFIC/AUTHOR MANIA**

"Oy, one more week before the big thing…" Supergirl sighed as she sat in the lounge with Wonder Girl, Huntress, Catwoman, Lady Blackhawk, Stargirl, Spy Smasher, Nyssa and Talia al Ghul and all the other DC Comics heroines

"What big thing?" Jade asked

"Batman v Superman, Jade! Weren't you listening? Next Friday's opening night" Supergirl hissed

"Oh. Did we get tickets?" Wonder Girl asked

"Yes Cassie, I told you that twelve times" Hawkgirl said

"Who got cut from the movie?" Catwoman asked, sipping her root beer

"Tbh I dunno, Bizarro I think…" Star Sapphire said, braiding her hair

"Bizarro? Why?" Supergirl asked, both shocked and outraged

"Um, because of the fact that Doomsday is in it and if we have Bizarro, then we have two monsters" Jade said

"Oh ok, good point" Hawkgirl said

"Oh are you girls still babbling over that silly BVS movie again?" Hippolyta asked giggling

"First of all it's not silly Mother, it's part of the DC Extended Universe. Second of all, we have major, MAJOR bones to pick with FOX, CBS and the CW" Diana said

"Yeah. I don't like how I was portrayed, either. I should tell those CBS assholes to take their show and shove it up their…" Livewire started

"Leslie, dear, language" Hippolyta reminded

"Oh right, sorry about that Ma" Livewire apologized

"Yeah, I don't like having me being portrayed by a Glee girl. And when the hell do I wear an outfit like that?" Supergirl asked irately

"Hopefully after episode 20, it'll get cancelled" Lois commented, drinking her cider

"Keep your fingers crossed" Supergirl said, taking another drink of her orange soda

"What's all the hubbub?" Maggie Sawyer asked

"We're griping over our extended universes. Pull up a chair, pour yourself a hot steaming glass of A&W and let's chat" Power Girl said

"I'm in" Maggie said, sitting herself down and pouring herself a large mug of Mtn. Dew

"So Lois, you're completely ok with having your movie counterpart being played by a redhead who played an obese creature in Smallville and a cheap knockoff princess in that ever so crappy Enchanted movie?" Jade asked

"Hell no! She doesn't have my snarkiness, my good looks. But then again, she does have the guts to call baldy psychotic" Lois admitted

"Jesse *censored* Eisenberg as Lex Luthor? The hell?" Wonder Woman gasped

"Yeah and what about ME? I'm Batman's on again off again girlfriend. How DARE Zack Snyder exclude me from his movies! DAMN YOU ZACK SNYDER" Catwoman hollered

"Ok, ok settle down Selina, unless you wanna get sued by Warner Bros" Lois said

"Oh I get it… this is because that bitch Halle Berry played me, isn't it?" Catwoman snapped

"Oh geez, not again…" Supergirl moaned

"Selina, we've heard that story a million bazillion times, enough with it. It sucks, we. Get. It." Donna Troy groaned

"Ok girls, I'm gonna go pick up Dinah from daycare. Be back in a few. Love you all" Hippolyta said

"Ok, does anyone have any complaints with our author?" Supergirl asked

"Nah, Bram's cool. He made me a lot nicer and friendlier than my other counterpart…" Huntress said

"Oh gimme a break, he made Dinah into a complete mama's girl bimbo! Isn't that embarrassing?" Jade asked

"Nah, I'm used to it now after 235 stories" Huntress shrugged

"235? I thought we were almost up to 240" Diana said

"Well we kinda had to remove our older ones because the author said they were pretty inappropriate" Huntress admitted

"oh, I see, he's trying to move on after his little anxiety attack" Wonder Woman said

"btw how is he?" Jade asked

"he's doing very much better. He's completely in tune with Netflix and his Borderlands 2 games" Wonder Woman answered

"huh. I heard him constantly singing the lyrics from that Jesus Christ Superstar album five times last night" Huntress said

"oh come on, it's his favorite musical" Maggie said

"no, no, wait a minute… I thought his favorite was Sweeney Todd" Poison Ivy said, drinking her Sprite

"Bull*censored*, he told me straight up Repo the Genetic Opera was his favorite" Lady Blackhawk said

"Actually he has a very hard time making up his mind…" Supergirl said

"ok, say no more" Huntress said, refilling her root beer mug

"well hopefully tonight he won't have a meltdown or anything like that" Huntress said

"nah he said we're watching the movie Casino tonight" Supergirl said

"wait a minute… that old 90s gangster movie with Robert DeNiro and that guy from Goodfellas?" Jade asked

"yup" Huntress answered

"ah. Isn't that a little… gory?" Jade asked

"um, Jade, this is the guy who made us watch Mad Max Fury Road multiple times, this is the guy who launched tirade after tirade over that stupid animal show Zoo. This is the guy who repeats EVERY FREAKIN EPISODE of Everybody Loves Raymond day after day, night after night, week AFTER FREAKIN WEEK!" Wonder Woman barked

"Guys, guys, guys! We shouldn't disrespect our author like that. He's a really cool, very talented, funny and really smart guy" Huntress said

"Yeah, he's a nice guy. Heck on my Facebook page, he said he even liked me" Livewire admitted

"Really? He really said that?" Supergirl asked

"oh yes. He may be done with those superhero shows now, but I heard through the grapevine he's now into those Netflix Marvel shows…" Livewire said

"Ooohhh… I like where this is going" Catwoman purred

"Seriously Selina, it's nothing like what you're thinking" Huntress said

"Ok I can barely hear my lines because Bram has his silly show blaring loudly on his iPad" Supergirl complained

"Just take it easy Kara. He'll be leaving for his workout soon…" Huntress said

"then he'll be back by 4:30 to do this some more, take a shower, get into some boxer shorts and a wife beater, have us watch his Casino movie then we go to bed, then tomorrow, we're gonna do the same thing again, then he'll leave for his volunteer work, then he'll be home again and just lay in the basement doing absolutely nothing…" Lady Blackhawk finished

"Just got a text message from him. He says we definitely are watching Casino tonight" Huntress announced

"so… no GTS Tara videos?" Supergirl asked

"Nope" Huntress said

"No… 80's commercial videos?" Supergirl asked

"Nuh-uh" Lady Blackhawk said

"No… old movie trailers?" Jade asked

"Zip" Hawkgirl said

"Well there goes another exciting Monday night" Huntress said

"Hold on, wait a minute, the Final Four tournament's on…" Supergirl piped up

"Oh gimme a break, we don't even watch basketball. He just leaves it on to keep him concentrated on his writing" Mera griped

"Like how he does with his iPad" Supergirl chimed in

"Right" Huntress said

"Wow, Kara, you're finally using your brains for once" Livewire commented

"Um, my what?" Kara asked

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Livewire asked

"Um… eighty nine and a hundred?" Kara asked

"I rest my case" Livewire sighed, drinking more of her A&W

"Mmm… no no Turpin, that's my autograph of Hilary Duff…" Maggie mumbled in her sleep

"Maggie, wake up! Hilary isn't gay" Livewire hissed, waking the woman up

"Mmm… she is in my dreams" Maggie sighs sleepily

"Say, does anyone remember Bram playing that Fallout New Vegas game?" Renee asked

"yeah, I kinda do… um, isn't that the game with the really funny but sexy light switches?" Kate asked

"yup, that's the one" Huntress said

"and where Chandler does a really, really, REALLY crappy job as a bad guy?" Supergirl asked

"bingo" Huntress said

"ooh and the one with Flynn Rider as a gay scientist?" Spy Smasher asked

"oh yes" Lady Blackhawk answered

"hey how come Bram didn't finish Dragon Age II?" Looker asked

"well, you see, he found out that the ending, well…" Nocturna said

"oh, ok, I gotcha. So that explains why he likes Borderlands and all that stuff" Fire said

"uh-oh, I heard someone say the H word…" Supergirl said in a singsong voice

"iPad background again" Huntress said

"oh ok" Supergirl said

"you know this Everybody Loves Raymond show… I really don't like the people in it" Supergirl said

"oh? Why's that sweetie?" Huntress asks, stroking Supergirl's hair

"well the mom's really, really mean, the uncle's a big bully, the kids are whiny brats, and Ray is… ugh, I don't even want to know" Supergirl said

"well you know what Bram said: it's just make believe. Don't let it get inside your head. If it gets inside your head too much, it causes you to be obsessed about it, makes you forget everything else important and be fixated on it, oh yeah and it gives you an anxiety attack. So you know, just… don't let it get into you. Think of something else" Huntress said

"Wow, you're really smart big sis" Supergirl said in awe

"I'm one of a kind sweetheart" Huntress said, kissing Supergirl's cheek

"I love you" Supergirl said, hugging Helena

"Aww, I love you too honey. You'll always be my little sis" Helena said, hugging back

"Aww…" everyone awed

"Leslie… are you crying?" Lady Blackhawk asked as Livewire sobbed

"That… that was so adorable…" Livewire sniffled, blowing her nose with tissues

"So… what was it again? Oh yeah, Supernatural. Yeah, that's it" Supergirl said

"Yes, now you're getting it, kiddo" Huntress said, ruffling Supergirl's hair


End file.
